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Thursday, June 9, 2011

I Have NOT Yet Finished With My Sister's Cat OR How I Continue To Taunt a Hapless (Hah!) Animal

Recently I ridiculed and mocked my sister's cat, Mellow.  (I was laughing with the cat.)  Although I did tell the truth about said animal, there was some underlying gratifying indulgence in illustrating the feline in funny poses and addlepated movies.  That being stated, I feel compelled, as I often do, to do some more!  Yea!  Illustration!

For those of you who aren't up to speed on the Harrowing Case of the Jeered Animal, read 'Things I CANNOT Blog About OR How I've Been Repressed,' and then 'The Dissing of My Sister's Cat OR How It Sounded Like a Challenge.'  Basically I'm having way too much fun at the expense of my sister's beloved antisocial pet.  Oh, so what the hell.
Mellow, who may just sue me if I continue.
You know I'll just blog about the lawsuit.
You know, when I called my sister last weekend she said my daughter wasn't going to want to do anything with me anymore unless I promised first not to blog about it.  Haha.  I guess I won't blog about my daughter this week.

Oh, where oh where shall I start?  With the obvious I think.

Too pithy?  Too bad.  It's my blog.  I'm feeling pithy.  What the
hell does pithy mean?  Sounds like bitchy could be
easily substituted for it.

All righty then.  Next up an old classic.  If you don't know it, then you should go watch your Vincent Price movies again.
You know, Mellow probably eats flies all the time.  Maybe
spiders too.  Some irony here.
Now a little more class stuff.  Say Sean Connery-ish.

See.  Mellow can be suave and debonair.
I'm going to have to work on the way I draw suits.
This looks like a kid about to go to a Catholic school,
not really Bond, James Bond.

But I've only scratched the surface.  (Get it?  Scratched?  Those of you without cats will have to turn to those of you with cats to understand.  Sorry.)

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson, er, Mellow.
Okay, hitting a classic war film.  I wasn't sure if I should go with Sheen or Brando on this one so I went for the famous quote instead.

I hope the Coppola fans will forgive my transgressions.
I guarantee that HIM will be giggling at this one.
Man, does Martin Sheen look just like Charlie,
except without the crazy, paranoid ranting. 
Wait, there was an editorial change in the above.  HIM suggested the following and since it was funny, I couldn't not do it.

Wow.  Am I in trouble or what?
Oh, yes.  I have more.  Lots more.

Run, Mellow, Run!
Maybe that should be: Run, Fat Woman, Run!  Because
Mellow and my sister are coming to get me.
Could I possibly be going too far?  Possibly but I'm not caring!  So here goes...

Actually this was Dr. Zira about to lock lips with Taylor but
I couldn't find another profile of an ape so oh well.
I really liked The Planet of the Apes and Tim Burton had
a sucky redo, although otherwise he's a wonderful director.
(Planet of the Apes - First time I saw naked men's butts on film.  Obscure factoid.)
As long as I'm cruising down Classic Hollywood Lane, I might as well offend every Bogie fan out there alive.

Yes, I know that's not the real quote.  But it's the one everyone
hears.  If I put the real quote down, a significant proportion of
people would go, "Huh?"  So there it is.
Well, I think I have derided and provoked my sister's cat enough for this week.  It's possible I missed some very good quotes.  I haven't even started looking at famous political quotes yet.  ("Bitch set me up," - Marion Barry, "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.  We are the President." - Hillary Clinton, and "The Internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole all come to mind.)

And of course, I'm open to suggestion.

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