Total Pageviews

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Dissing of My Sister's Cat OR How It Sounded Like a Challenge

So in a previous blog I dissed my sister's cat.  I even used photographs and my autodesk sketchbook program to have much fun.  I laughed.  Then my sister read the blog and she said that the cat was insulted.  And I thought, 'Well, hell, that wasn't an insult.  Just wait.'  (This is an insult, "Mellow, your mama was a Cocker Spaniel."  You have to be a cat to get it.)

And here we go.  Here's Mellow the cat.  She's an innocuous appearing large boned animal who prefers wet food and isn't really a cuddling type.  (When I threw a toy for her, she looked at me as if saying, 'Do you seriously think I'm going to chase after that when someone will open a can for me instead?  Fool.  And btw, I have plans to shred your underwear later.  Insolent peasant.')
Mellow in a nonthreatening moment OR the instant before she attacks
and eats your big toe.  Also your ear.  Maybe your pinkies, too.
Anyway, so considering the way my mind works, it sounded kind of like...a challenge.  ("Oh, no, you just didn't challenge me, did you?")  So, I'm back, with my autodesk sketchbook program and a vivid imagination and the not-inconsequential ability to insert artistically improved photos into my blog.
The Silence of the Pussies.
Haha.  I love Sir Anthony Hopkins.  I wonder if he ever regrets doing that particular role.  What he probably regrets is hearing the same comment about beans and wine every time he goes into public.

Well, I guess Mellow can't be a bad guy all the time.

Somewhere Judy Garland is rolling in her grave.
Speaking of graves, I might as well go for broke.  Sorry Bruce.

I couldn't find one where Bruce Willis wasn't bald or looking like he just
took down Hans in Die Hard.  Oh, well.  Mellow will just have
to understand my artistic mentality.

And that being said, I have to pay homage to my favorite movie of all time.

Roy Scheider!  Robert Shaw!  Where are you?
Oh, hell, no.  Not finished yet.  Mellow, you're going down.

Yeah, punk.  Do ya feel lucky?  Well, do ya?
Am I getting carried away?  Maybe.  But I ain't done yet.

Do you think Mellow needs an axe for this one to work?
There.  I feel my dissing work is thoroughly accomplished.  Mellow is either going to hide in Tibet and become a Buddhist monk or she's going to hire a hit man.  One or the other.

A final note: HIM has suggested that Mellow could have her own guest blog: Confessions of a Fat Cat, if she's feeling perky.  Bring it, bee-yotch.

No comments: