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Saturday, October 8, 2016

Now Available: Forests of Dreams

Forests of Dreams (Dreams #3)

On one day everything was normal.  The next morning billions of people had vanished, and new magical creatures had appeared, altering not only the Earth but everyone who woke up on that one day.  Lulu survived the change, only to encounter far worse situations than she’d ever known before.  Two years after a sea of dreams transformed everything, Lulu searches for “tech bubbles,” places where technology is still operational, and consequently useful to the survivors.  What she discovers is that not all weapons from the past are nonfunctioning, and that the past is never truly dead.  She will fight to save the new world and everyone she’s come to love.

Book 3 of the Dreams novels.  Book 1 is Sea of Dreams.  Book 2 is Mountains of Dreams.

Available on iTunes.


Monday, September 26, 2016

Dichotomy of an Election

I remember the first time I voted in a Presidential election.  I voted for Reagan.  I don't remember why I voted for Reagan, probably because he once worked with a chimpanzee.  Then I think I voted for Bush.  Then Bush again.  Or maybe it was Ross Perot.  (Who, for all of you neophytes, was Trump before Trump was Trump.)
Then I don't remember exactly because the whole 90s and early 2000s were a blur.
Every time there's a Presidential election year, things have a massive tendency to go sideways.  Mudslinging happens.  Mudslinging on crack happens.  Things are said that most people would never dream about saying.
And there's this year.  This year is a state of utter confusion confounded by idiocy and the inability for people to stop for a moment and take a good look around them.
I mean, what the hell happened?
I suppose I could say something about the obvious villain: the Electoral College, but would that do me any good?  I think not.
So without further ado, unless ado is running for President 2016, which if we want to go with puns, it's true, two doos are running.  There were other doos to be sure, but they dropped out.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Monday, July 18, 2016

The Fat Woman Continues the D OR How I Felt Like a Criminal in the Misses Section at Walmart

Warning: Fat Woman will talk about...dieting...AGAIN!  Ranting may be involved.  Plus diet memes.  Lots of diet memes.  If diet memes offend you, this is your big opportunity to click on the x in the upper right hand corner.  Don't say I didn't warn ya!

So I'm on month four of the lifestyle change.  (MONTH FOUR!  Four months.  Sixteen weeks.  112 days.  2,688 hours.  161,280 minutes.  Yes.  I've been thinking about this a lot.)  I've plateaued like four times and each time is worse than the last.  Currently I've lost a total of 37 pounds.  I eat 1000 to 1100 calories a day and I exercise six times a week.  I hate that I've stopped losing weight.  If I weren't going to go to the doctor next month I would be screaming "WHY!  Why am I not losing weight?"  I've looked up all kinds of answers.  I'm not cheating on food portions.  I might not be sleeping enough.  I might not be getting enough vitamin D.  I might have some issues with hormones.

All things I need to take up with the M.D.  Plus he hasn't seen me for 37 pounds and I expect some kind of doctorly happiness over my weight loss.

I want the guy to be enthusiastic, dammit.  I want him to do a cheerleading routine on my weight loss!  I want him to run out into the hallway and scream out that I'm the best patient, ever!  Am I going to be disappointed?  Probably.

So this last week I went to get a new pair of pants.  Why?  All my other pairs of jeans are sliding down my ass which isn't a style choice I like to go with.

Although I did some sewing to save myself a little money and also to use the old jeans as working-in-the-garden jeans, even those are too baggy, so they went up on the shelf in the closet because I can't quite bring myself to throw them away...yet.

Therefore I'm in Walmart.  Why am I in Walmart?  Because Walmart is where I usually buy my fat jeans.  You can see my mindset hasn't yet moved into the proper zone.  I literally went to Walmart to buy my fat jeans because it hadn't sunk in that I didn't need to buy fat jeans again.  (Duh moment approaching.)  Without hesitation I went to the fat women's section.  (They call it the women's section because calling it the fat section might not be PC.)  I'm standing there like a doofus because I can't find a size 14.

Yes, I am truly confused.  I look.  I look again.  I look a third time, and then I had to scratch my head.  I think if I was MacGyver, I would have found it.  In fact, I would have used a Swiss Army knife to make a new pair for myself out of old ones.

Then it dawns on me.

I'm in the wrong section.  I was IN THE WRONG FRICKIN' SECTION.  So I surreptitiously slide on over to the misses section.  I expect someone will yell at me like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

I mean, I'm looking around expecting someone to look at me and ask, "What are you doing here?"  But they don't and I'm all like, "Hey, this must be a meaningful moment."

I went to the US Space & Rocket Center to see my daughter graduate from Space Camp the very next day, and my husband who I was meeting there, did not recognize me when he was looking for me.  So it's another meaningful moment.
I may be plateaued, but it doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing.
Fat Woman out.