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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Thursday Morning Nuttiness!

Oh NO!  No OR in the title!  What does it mean?  Is the world coming to an end?  Were the Mayans right or were they really mathematical whackjobs who happened to leave a stone carved tablet lying around that some nerdy archaeologist misinterpreted.  Or was it more sinister?
I can totally see some Mayan guy making a honest error that gets
blown WAAAAY out of proportion.
It has come to my attention that on garbage day there are gremlins about who will take anything that looks good to them.

Before the event.
Actual garbage left out by moi.  Except the bazooka.  That was made-up.
After the event.  See the items have VANISHED!  It's a mystery.  I did not see anyone take them.  I did not hear anyone take them.  Although I did hear the neighbor yelling at her daughter about 11 PM about how everyone could hear everything they did anyway.  (I swear I wasn't listening to them on purpose.  They were yelling loud enough for the next town over to hear.)
In other news, I managed to break a heavy duty, plastic cutting board in half.  I did not take a photo but trust me, it was in half.  It turns out that if you hit it, while in the process of breaking a head of garlic up with a ceramic coffee cup (this is a legitimate method of garlic head dispersal) and you miss the garlic head, the cutting board will, in fact, break in half.  I have a witness.  Here's my daughter with the eyewitness report:"Mommy was attacking the counter with a red cup and the board thing snapped in half.  I heard it and then Mommy gasped really loud and said a very bad potty mouth word."  My daughter's stupid cat saw it too, but he decided I was too violent and fled the scene.  (I'm pretty sure this was all HIM's fault since we're moving and the move is disrupting all my creative juices and some other stuff, too.)

What does this picture have to do with the blog?  Not much but it
definitely shows the cat all up in my grille.

I'll just blame HIM for everything.  Did your crops fail?  HIM.  Get a run in your panty hose?  HIM.  Global warming?  HIM.  Can't get the lid off the peanut butter jar?  Well, the peanut butter company mostly but some of it was probably HIM, too.  He thought bad things about your ability to loosen lids.

Just look at those eyes.

Look closer.  No, don't look up his nose.  IN HIS EYES!

HIM will be the first one to tell you that it takes me a while to get past things.  Surprisingly enough writing about them usually allows me to let them go faster, although if it's funny it may actually linger.

So there I feel better.  Off to paint some stuff so that it looks better.


R. Mac Wheeler said...

you get a bwa ha

(I didn't have the energy today for a full bwa ha ha)

Anonymous said...

Mellow & I have been woefully wronged. We're going to start a "we've been wornged" support group.


Tammy said...

Do we all get to blame HIM?

Carwoo said...

Absolutely. It's all HIM's fault. Or at least until I get over my snit.