I'm going to center this comment and make it bold and make it a larger font and put it in color so everyone can see it, and absorb it, and let it soak in:
"My wonderful, magnanimous spouse is the best woman in the world. Her beauty exemplifies the word, 'beautiful.' Her sarcastic wit thrills my ears. Never shall she offend me by her satirical and mordant badinage. I worship even her little toes. As a matter of fact, I love her little toes to death. When she dies her toes will be soaked in gilt and mummified." (Okay, this isn't HIM's real words, but it's what he meant.)I wish. Okay, HIM just read the above and here's what he really says. No, HIM isn't speaking, despite my entreaties to versify the matter. HIM is staring at me in a way that indicates that HIM thinks I am amusing and that he is not going to comment. So I'll ask HIM, "Did your feelings get hurt?" "No," HIM said. (Now HIM thinks I'm being silly and well, HIM may be right.) So I ask, "Are you embarrassed by my blogging?" "No," HIM said. "Do you still love me?" I asked. "Of course I do. Where's the beer?" HIM said.
Oh, hell yes. Fat Woman is on another roll. Here's my nod to my daughter, Cressy:
I thought about doing something really offensive like painting a picture using my whoa-mammas as the paint brushes but then there was a moment of 'how do I get the paint off me when I'm done?' and that was the end of that. Surely that would get comments. (Isn't there an artist who paints with their ass? Talk about paint removal issues.) (Think about the names of the artistic works. 'Blue Ivory Blush Upon Crushed Umlatters.' 'Sprinkled Tatas Melting into Red Sienna.' 'Sweater Puppies Meet the Crimson Valley of Alizarin.' I'm feeling inspired.)
|Kira Ayn Varszegi - Tata Artist|
Not sure how she walks without falling
|Bet you didn't know Fat Woman was invited. Did ya?|