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Sunday, January 15, 2012

OMG, I'm BACK!

Yes, I have returned!  All is well in the land of humor and sarcasm!  And most wonderfully, I have cynical and sage things to impart to the masses.

Now to discuss Things That Inspire Me...because that's the odd way my brain is wired.  Also stuff I noticed while taking my blog break and couldn't it get out of my head because it was silliness personified.  (Kind of like politics.)

Strange fish found on Beach.  Yes, this person, as pictured below, was trotting along the beach and saw this thing washed up and said, "Oh, my goodness gracious googley woogley, there is something really strange.  What shall I do?  Hmm.  Shall I ignore it?  No, I can't do that.  Shall I bring it to a museum?  No, for I am connected to the Internet and think it could be a baby Loch Ness Monster.  I KNOW!  I shall pick it up and take a picture of it while holding it because nothing from the ocean could possibly be poisonous or possibly still alive to bite me, right, honey?"  His significant other, who took the picture and is notably NOT holding the thing, can only have one reasonable response, "Sure baby, is your insurance paid up?"


I mean, how did he know it was dead?  Did he poke it with a stick?  Check its pupil dilation?  Did he take its pulse?  Really, inquiring minds want to know.


I'm just saying.  If I see something on the beach that I've never seen before, something like in the photograph, that resembles a giant, alien seahorse,  something that appears as though it might enjoy a random sampling of my flesh and whatnot, I DO NOT go and pick it up. 


Okay, maybe I've milked this guy for all he's worth.  But maybe not.


All right now that well is dry.  On to other amusing things.

Just before Christmas a woman traveling through Las Vegas' McCarran Airport had her cupcake seized by TSA officials.  See here.  Ohhhh-kaaaay.  I'm having a hard time imagining how a cupcake can be interpreted as a security threat.  (And btw, I want to know what does one do in Las Vegas with a cupcake, because it sounds vaguely lascivious in a sarcastic, droll sort of way.)


As a fat woman who enjoys a good cupcake, I still can't see the problem.  Apparently, the official thought there was enough frosting on the cupcake to make use of the 3 ounce limit of gel-like items.  (Two notes here.  One is that's a lot of freakin' frosting on the cupcake.  And two is how does a TSA official eyeball frosting and equate it to 3 ounces?)

So my take on what really happened to the red velvet cupcake?

But hey, the poor woman who got her cupcake taken away from her?  She said that the TSA really overestimated the levels of her frosting.  (Hahaha.  I love that sentence.  How does one overestimate the levels of frosting?)  See Mass. Woman Disputes TSA Portrayal of Her Cupcake.  (You know I didn't make that title up.)  (The cupcake was maligned!  I swear!  Now I want one of those cupcakes because well, it was maligned and I must have one.)

And you want to know the best part.  The bakery that actually made the cupcake has renamed it the National (Security) Velvet Cupcake just because of this whole thing.  (I bet they're selling like...wait for it...hotcakes.  Or would that be better as: I bet they're selling like...wait for it again...cupcakes.?)

There ya go.  Things that amuse me.

I'm back, baby.  It's good to be the blogger.

6 comments:

Jo said...

What the HELL is that creature? (As for the man picking it up....well....he's a man. But the "scream like a little girl" made me laugh so hard I almost hurt myself)

As for the cupcake, I just don't get why someone would be hand-carrying a cupcake through an airport to begin with, so the chances that someone would find a way to take it away are pretty high.

Glad you're back!

Mac said...

I can only imagine how entertaining it is to live under the same roof with you

/O)

Carwoo said...

You know, coincidentally I saw a follow-up to the cupcake thing and it was a cupcake in a jar, which is weird, so it was like mega cupcake with three layers of frosting, which actually I can see the TSA's point. But I'm not changing the blog.

Carwoo said...

And yes, Mac, my house is very entertaining. Funny s**t happens here all the time. If it doesn't happen on its own, I make it happen. ;)

Annie Rae said...

I keep checking back, to see if anyone has identified....the fish (or the man)

Carwoo said...

It's an oarfish, which doesn't help me. Supposedly it doesn't live around these here parts, preferring the dark depths of deep sea canyons and such. It's very shy. The guy's name is Harry Furrvieg, which is another odd name for a fella, no offense intended.