Where was I? Ah yes. Deep dark woods. Brownies. Camping trip with six 7-8 year olds and 4 teens. Otherwise known as the seventh level of heck.
You wouldn't believe how worn out everyone was at about 4 pm. We were all whipped. Little girls wanted to put pjs on and climb into sleeping bags because they were pooped. They draped themselves on their little sleeping bags and moaned their discontent, until the troop leader popped out another craft project, whereupon they jumped it upon as if they were lions and the craft project was a hapless antelope. (Really. It happened.) Then, they returned to being tired.
Alas, they found their second wind.
We didn't have chairs but one of the moms had brought camp chairs. (Somehow she knew. I bow to her superior knowledge.) Moms collapsed into a boneless mass after dinner while brownies flocked to the campfire to be with Super Fire Lord Dads. (Their capacity for sitting by the fire and keeping it going certainly impressed the brownies. Also they kept the brownies, some of whom were inordinately interested in how fire works and waving the fire around, from burning down the campground.) (Kudos to the dads for their Smoky the Bear-ism.) (Apparently, I can't keep myself from making up words today. Just go with it.)
Then it began to SNOW! I checked my droid for the weather map. And lo and behold, there was a tiny patch of pinky-purpleness ONLY over us, like we had been cursed. There was a hundred square miles showing on the little map and it was only snowing on us.
|Well, it wasn't this bad. But it was snow! No, it was SNOW!|
No, it was ***SNOW***!!!
7 pm. The girls decided to watch a pukey Barbie movie. (Pukey may be another made up word but I stand by my made up words.) I'm pretty sure I turned green with vomitious implications. (Barbie sucks, i.e., Barbie movies REALLY, REALLY, REALLY suck. Here's an example of Barbie dialogue: "Look, there's an evil, fairy wizardess who's going to do bad things unless we save the fairy world. We must use rainbows, light, and wishful thinking as our weapons." "First, we must rescue a mermaid prince and have lots of adventures with strange creatures we wouldn't normally associate with and who are here for comic relief." Okay, I'm not really using true Barbie dialogue, but I'm not exaggerating that much.) Moms escaped into the kitchen to avoid the inevitable brain damage and for coffee, tea, and adult conversation. (Example of adult conversation: "You tired?" "Yes, dead beat." "More tea.")
In the interim I was called on to kill four, flying beetle-like bugs who were threatening to dismember the children. Also a poor spider was forced down although I told the girls the thing wasn't bothering anyone.
There was the splinter incident, a bloody nose (caused by dry air not a fist), two girls who wanted their absent mommies, two more who were scared of the dark (one of those was Cressy), a bathroom with one door that didn't lock, and a partridge in a pear tree who was screaming, "Christmas is over commercialized!" One poor upset girl thought she'd popped the scout leader's air mattress (the kids were playing on them while the adults weren't looking and she didn't really pop it.)
For future reference, my air pump has a reversible flow. One way blows and the other way sucks. (Guess which way I had it set on when I tried to blow up my air mattress? Guess how long it took me to figure that out?) Furthermore, air mattresses are cold. Additionally, kids do not want to go to sleep when they are congregated together in a large room. Also, Barbie movies have not magically improved since the last time I saw one. Lastly, kids are still finicky eaters and anything they don't like is, "Stuff that makes my stomach hurt." (Direct quote.)
Moms packed and stuffed and cleaned. The older scouts took the younger ones to the Pooh Tree. I was dragged along because the scout leader knew there were hills involved and wisely abdicated. Why is it called the Pooh Tree? I will show you.
|One little girl was smart enough not to want to go|
into the big bleeping hole in the tree.
|I told them not to close their eyes.|
Once back in camp, we all threw our stuff in the back of our cars and drove back to the real world.
I was so tired I fell into bed without taking a shower and had to later change the sheets because of it.
But hey, Cressy had a blast and they're already planning their next camping trip.