Life is Like Forrest Gump Being Played by Donald Trump OR I Got Nothing But a Weird Title

I looked at my Big List of Blogs-to-Write and I was not inspired.  So then I thought of a weird title.  Recently I saw Forrest Gump again and I was trying to imagine another actor playing the character besies Tom Hanks.  According to www.imdb.com, the Internet Movie Data Base, which is a place where some people spend entirely too much damn time watching movies and television, Bill Murray, John Travolta, and Chevy Chase all turned down the title role.  On a related note I heard once that Nick Nolte turned down the role of Han Solo.  I just can't picture it.  Furthermore, Tom Selleck was supposed to play Indiana Jones.  I guess Harrison Ford was the lucky one in those two.

Yes, this is my sister's cat, Mellow, who
should probably NOT play
Forrest Gump.  But I seem to
have neglected taunting the cat
for awhile so I obliged.

So who would be truly weird playing in a Forrest Gump remake?  A) Justin Bieber (Musical version) B) Will Ferrell C) Johnny Depp (But only if Tim Burton directed.) or D) Sandra Bullock (It's a revisionist version.)

And that led me to this question?  (It's coming.)  Of course this is wishful thinking and the movie rights haven't been sold.  (Seriously, Coen Brothers CALL ME!)  (And not only am I getting WAY ahead of myself and my sales, but it's somewhat arrogant, too.  However, I'm going with WTH?)  But who should play Bubba in the movie version?

I'm going to ask the question in big, bold letters so that people think I'm serious.

Who should play Bubba in a movie version?

I have to admit I'm a little buh-buh-buh.  (That's where I thumb my lower lip in a repetitive manner and look utterly confused.  Sometimes I'll even make strange noises that indicate that my brain has left the building.)  In my mind I've always pictured Bubba as being like Clint Walker.  He played in a television series called Cheyenne and in The Dirty Dozen, and about a million other things.  Here he is, in all his bubba-like, hulking glory:

Clint Walker from Cheyenne.
Come on, can't you picture it?
Who doesn't want to be rescued by
this cowboy?  (Perhaps we should
start a stampede.  Perhaps I should
stop typing words.)  And yes,
he's SIX FEET, SIX INCHES tall.
(Note to self: Buy HIM a cowboy hat and
maybe a whip.  Yee haw!  Did I leer?)

I've had people email me about what do I think Bubba looks like.  One man even wanted to know if I looked like Willodean.  (I don't.)  On a related note I've got two nice guys in Houston working on the audio version of Bubba and it's a blast to listen to their take on all the voices in the book.  (Yea, Matt and Kevin!)  (Hmm.  I wonder if I can attach an audio file to this.)

Anyway, who plays Bubba in the movie?  Come on, comment, you know you want to.

And yes, I know this is a little lame post for me today, but my brain is locked in on Bubba.  I'm writing, I'm working, and I'm fixated on the plot of Bubba and the Missing Woman.  I'm having dreams about Bubba and Miz Demetrice riding sparkly unicorns across a twinkling rainbow while they throw M&M's from a golden leprechaun's pot.  (Or was that a Skittles commercial?)

Let me know.  Who's Bubba?  Because I got nothing.

Next post: All about weird things growing in my yard and I don't mean jalapenos.