|Parental Disclaimer: Cressy totally did not watch the movie, Scream.|
So here it goes, as told by my daughter and illustrated by me. Smart-assed comments interjected at will because, well, I can't not do it. (Really, I can't.)
Cressy's Scary Story (almost verbatim):
Once there was a desert. In the desert there were horses, rattlesnakes, and cactus's. The horses whinnied. The rattlesnakes rattled. And the cactus's...hmm...the cactus's...um...the cactus's cactused. Yeah, that's it. (And yes, this is the true way that this was told to me. The cactus's did, indeed, go cactusedity.)
|Cressy's desert. I wasn't sure how a cactus cactused|
so I ad libbed. I think it works.
|Really not sure if I captured the essence of the penultimate twang|
of this moment. Whateveh.
|Yes, the lips do, in fact, extend that far out.|
(There was another pause here so the listener can truly absorb the horror and intensity of the terrifying tale of animals gone wrongity-wrong-wrong.) And these coyotes would eat a lot of people. *Strum!*
(It's my belief that I was supposed to gasp at that moment, so I did. And Cressy obviously approved of my abject fear of man-eating coyotes because she nodded and then...) *Strum!*
So in the middle of the night when it was really quiet, the coyotes would go hunting. (Here it comes again.) *Strum!*
And they would get you, Mommy. (Uh-oh, this story seems to be taking a turn for the worse.) *Strum!*
And they would eat you, Mommy. (I'm not sure what brought about this need for my gruesomely bloody ending, but it could have something to do with the fact that I didn't let her stay up to 8 PM the other night or possibly that I won't let her have the Screaming Eagle tattoo on her derriere. One or the other.) *Strum!*
Then they eat your arms! *Strum!*
Then they eat your legs! *Strum!*
And you're still alive, Mommy! *Strum!* (Wow, have I really ticked off my 7 year old daughter or what?)
They eat your...tummy! *Strum!*
And you're still alive, Mommy! *Strum!* (Remarkably and I'm still listening to the story.)
Then, Mommy...*Strum!*, *Strum!*, *Strum!*...they eat your head!
*Strum!* *Strum!* *Strum!* *Strum!* *Strum!* *Strum!*
(I think we're gearing up for Halloween. Just a thought.)