Therefore, I present:
The RETURN of Alligator Girl!
Wait. I was instructed to make the opening credits better. Let me try again. With more icky blood.
The girl turned into ALLIGATOR GIRL!!! Da-da-dah!
Does that look like enough blood? I think so. But Cressy seems a little blood thirsty. ("More blood, Mommy!")
Then Alligator Girl lost her freaking mind. Did she eat the Easter Bunny again? No, that poor pink bastard got away this time with his cotton tail and chocolate Easter eggs intact. (And btw, I'm told that the Easter Bunny actually poops out jelly beans. And also btw, I'm not eating jelly beans anytime in the foreseeable future.) The Alligator Girl saw a little girl who was minding her little, innocent business while standing outside at night and...Alligator Girl ATE the little girl!
Cressy said, "Awesome," again when she saw this picture. But what I see is Alligator smooching on someone. If I told my daughter that, she'd probably say, "Ewww, Mommy." (And btw, does Alligator Girl look like she's turning into the Hunchback of Notre Dame or is it just me?)
But Alligator Girl was still hungry! So she ate a fast food place! With everyone still inside.
But Alligator Girl was still hungry! Oh, no! So she ate a CITY! (Can you see where the extra budget for special effects is coming in handy.)
And then Alligator Girl was STILL HUNGRY! So she ate the world.
The end. And then Cressy said, "And they all lived happily ever after. And she turned back into a little girl." (And who am I to point out some of the obvious plot failures in that? Nuh-uh. Not this mommy.)
"Great story," I said. "Thanks, Mommy," Cressy said smugly.
I love my job.