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Thursday, August 30, 2012

I Blog Therefore I am, OR The Blogwoman Cometh, OR What Other Funky Title Can I Steal?

Let's see.  Today Google's Ad-Sense sent me an email saying ad-sense was being discontinued on my blog because I did a no-no.  They couldn't tell me the no-no but encouraged me to read their policies on no-no's, so I can fix the no-no.  Their policy on no-no's was rather extensive.  There was some stuff about compliance and information rich sites and then my mind went blissfully blank.  I copied the pertinent stuff for reading amusement and no small amount of personal vindictiveness:

Specifically, the site should offer significant value to the user by providing a useful and information-rich site.  Additionally, Google ads may not be displayed on 'cookie cutter' pages.

Well, specifically Google Ad-Sense isn't making me bupkus which means I'm not really motivated to keep Ad-Sense on my site.  I've been blogging regularly for about two years.  I get a lot of good feedback.  People think I'm funny or amusing or maybe I'm a good substitute for coffee.  Occasionally I get a negative comment.  Someone from Slovenia said I was stupid a few weeks ago.  (They said it in both languages so I would be sure to get the message.  Hey, while I can be stupid, I didn't know I was being stupid in Slovenia.  What was I thinking?)  But in terms of making money off the blog, not-so-much.  It's a good thing I enjoy writing and I get to promote my books on my blog, so although it's not a cash cow I'll keep doing it.
In my mind Google Ad-Sense is represented
by the boots in the grass.
Please keep in mind this isn't a threat,
but an artistic rendering of a nonpolitical message.
Anyway, I like the "significant value to the user" part.  Let's add on the rest "by providing a useful and information-rich site."  Seems to me that if they're going to get all snippy about my website then they best get bu-zay on censoring all the other websites for lack of "useful and information-rich"ness.  Examples include the woman who posts pictures of herself putting her cats into her mouth.  See Shokotan.  I like this one.  It's self named.  The very official Best Worst Blog Ever!  And for characterization let's throw in The Dullest Blog in the World.  If Google wants to go ahead and rule the world by restricting its ads then by God I'm going to change my blog to another web server.  See how they like those apples and bananas.
Let me tell you, if Confessions of a Fat Woman aren't significant or information-rich then there should be no blogs allowed, ever.  Take that Google Ad-Sense.  See if I sign up for you again.
In other fat news, someone left a review on Amazon for Brownie and the Dame AND THEY SPOILED THE WHODUNIT!  Right in the review.  Dammit.  $%^#@#*!!!  As a matter of fact, #$%^@#&!!!  And let's not forget $%^&@!!!  Also bleep!  Bleeeeeeeeeep!  Bleepity bleeping bleep!  This person didn't like BAD, and that's okay, I don't expect every person on the planet to enjoy my writing (although I can't understand why not) but don't SPOIL the ending for everyone else.  For those of you who have already read BAD and feel like looking at the review.  See here.  I left a comment for the guy because I wanted him to NOT spoil it for everyone else, but he hasn't changed it, so I feel that I can legitimately complain about it.  Sorry Mike K.  I know you didn't like the story and felt it was corny.  (Yes, the man used the word corny in connection with a Bubba world story.  Who knew?)  But don't spoil it.  Bet you're like that guy who went out yelling in front of the theater playing The Empire Strikes Back that Darth Vadar was really Luke Skywalker's daddy.  Or maybe the one in front of the theater playing Titanic yelling "The ship totally sinks!"  (I'm totally NOT trying to censor Mike K.  Totally.  It's not like I'm getting ad space on his review.)
Let's just say that the boots in the grass
now represent the spoiler in a very
nonthreatening, snarky manner.
All grumpiness aside, I'm working diligently on Bubba 4.  Naming contest of said novel to come soon.  (SOON!  Very SOON!)  Some lucky fan gets to name Bubba 4.  Announcement of contest to come very soon.  The fortunate individual will get this beautiful plush Basset hound (not my daughter), a copy of the book, mention in the foreword, and a WWBD bumper sticker.  (WWBD is What Would Bubba Do?)

All is well with the writing.  Peace out.

PS.  A special announcement.  Mike K took the spoiler out!  All hail Mike K for being a stand up guy!  Yes!  I know he didn't care for the plot line but he obviously rocks in all other ways.


R. Mac Wheeler said...

What was Mike thinking!?


I mean...really!!

Andsetinn said...

I could also ruin the end of the Bible for you. Jesus dies, but he lives. And it's our fault. Maybe it's my fault, that he died, not that he lives, for spoiling the end for so many true believers that have not read the Bible yet.

Carwoo said...

Our friends were at the theater waiting for Titanic (back in the 90s). She said to her husband something like, "It's too bad the ship sinks." The two teenage girls behind them shrieked, "The ship sinks? You ruined it for us!" So I figure that someone, somewhere doesn't know the ending of the bible. Oh well.

bubbasgirl said...

i can't wait for the next bubba book!in my mind he's hotter than fire lol! thanks for all you do !!!

Curmudgeon said...