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Monday, July 18, 2016

The Fat Woman Continues the D OR How I Felt Like a Criminal in the Misses Section at Walmart

Warning: Fat Woman will talk about...dieting...AGAIN!  Ranting may be involved.  Plus diet memes.  Lots of diet memes.  If diet memes offend you, this is your big opportunity to click on the x in the upper right hand corner.  Don't say I didn't warn ya!


So I'm on month four of the lifestyle change.  (MONTH FOUR!  Four months.  Sixteen weeks.  112 days.  2,688 hours.  161,280 minutes.  Yes.  I've been thinking about this a lot.)  I've plateaued like four times and each time is worse than the last.  Currently I've lost a total of 37 pounds.  I eat 1000 to 1100 calories a day and I exercise six times a week.  I hate that I've stopped losing weight.  If I weren't going to go to the doctor next month I would be screaming "WHY!  Why am I not losing weight?"  I've looked up all kinds of answers.  I'm not cheating on food portions.  I might not be sleeping enough.  I might not be getting enough vitamin D.  I might have some issues with hormones.

All things I need to take up with the M.D.  Plus he hasn't seen me for 37 pounds and I expect some kind of doctorly happiness over my weight loss.


I want the guy to be enthusiastic, dammit.  I want him to do a cheerleading routine on my weight loss!  I want him to run out into the hallway and scream out that I'm the best patient, ever!  Am I going to be disappointed?  Probably.
 

So this last week I went to get a new pair of pants.  Why?  All my other pairs of jeans are sliding down my ass which isn't a style choice I like to go with.


Although I did some sewing to save myself a little money and also to use the old jeans as working-in-the-garden jeans, even those are too baggy, so they went up on the shelf in the closet because I can't quite bring myself to throw them away...yet.

Therefore I'm in Walmart.  Why am I in Walmart?  Because Walmart is where I usually buy my fat jeans.  You can see my mindset hasn't yet moved into the proper zone.  I literally went to Walmart to buy my fat jeans because it hadn't sunk in that I didn't need to buy fat jeans again.  (Duh moment approaching.)  Without hesitation I went to the fat women's section.  (They call it the women's section because calling it the fat section might not be PC.)  I'm standing there like a doofus because I can't find a size 14.


Yes, I am truly confused.  I look.  I look again.  I look a third time, and then I had to scratch my head.  I think if I was MacGyver, I would have found it.  In fact, I would have used a Swiss Army knife to make a new pair for myself out of old ones.


Then it dawns on me.


I'm in the wrong section.  I was IN THE WRONG FRICKIN' SECTION.  So I surreptitiously slide on over to the misses section.  I expect someone will yell at me like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

I mean, I'm looking around expecting someone to look at me and ask, "What are you doing here?"  But they don't and I'm all like, "Hey, this must be a meaningful moment."

 
I went to the US Space & Rocket Center to see my daughter graduate from Space Camp the very next day, and my husband who I was meeting there, did not recognize me when he was looking for me.  So it's another meaningful moment.
 
I may be plateaued, but it doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing.
 
Fat Woman out.

6 comments:

Author R. Mac Wheeler said...

congrats on the 37, Caren.

Gail Ann Pippin said...

Don't know how tall you are, but 37# is still a significant weight loss. If your doctor doesn't do cartwheels down the hallway, give him a boot in the ass from me.
That being said, you are exercising, and you KNOW muscle weighs more than fat....which is why *I* will never sink. Ever. Anyway, that may account for the plateaus.

Linda Dick said...

Congratulations! When I lose 20# I am over the top ecstatic. You've nearly doubled that. Way to go. You must be about to change your blog from "Confessions of a Fat Woman" to "Musings of a skinny bitch." Whatever you do, I'm certain this will remain a great blog.

violet gaither said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Good Work.

violet gaither said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Good Work.

The Duckling Homestead and Gardens said...

Wow Caren,
37# is absolutely amazing. I somehow missed you had posted until just now, and it appears as though hopefully you will be posting tales of more goings on and your doctor visit. I agree that Doc best be celebrating your victory. So it has been 4 months of your life style change...has it developed into a natural routine that has become an ordinary part of your lifestyle or does it still feel like a chore and a struggle? Ft lady here needing to make a life style change also, but am in a lot of back pain as well, but I desperately want to get way more healthy then I am now, so hoping for information that will push me into the changes I need to make if I know that the adjustment window isn't overwhelmingly huge!!

All of my love to whole family and all reading and many blessing of the Most High GOD ALMIGHTY!
Suzanne