Then came some other stuff like Weight Clinic and Optifast and injections, and I think my brain kind of dropped out of orbit, kind of like Skylab. (You have to be of a certain age to remember that one, so the hell with you if you have to Google it.) (I looked for a Skylab meme and I couldn't find one and so I looked for one for the International Space Station and I did find a mildly funny one, but then I was really distracted and found one that has nothing to do with diets, space stations, or anything in the blog, which is the one I'm going to put below.)
|In space, no one can hear John Williams'|
infamous score. You know it because
you're humming it right now.
|An International Space Station cartoon because I can.|
It's my concerted opinion that their weight control Nazi megalomaniac twat in charge of bringing in people to their $2300 program (not to mention $120 per week for the shake product) is, oh, shall we try to use a polite term, or should I just call a guilt-inducing, non-compassion having, prune-faced, know-it-all spade a spade? I think I just did.
|Of course, my mini-rant calls for a meme.|
|I hate Dr. Phil, too. He's a total jerkface. I don't think he really|
has a degree in psychology, but I don't feel like looking it up.
Furthermore, I had to apologize in advance to my husband, HIM who still remains nameless, for transmogrifying into Diet Nazi Bitch. I suggested to HIM that the reason that he wasn't losing weight was because he was eating too many calories. I use the S Fit app on my Samsung which is pretty damn good for doing that, if a little time consuming. (Insert fat joke here.) So he's counting all his calories too. We've both lost about ten pounds, which is good, but here's the shizzy part. He eats about 2000 calories a day and I eat about 1000 calories a day. This SUCKS!
|I love this artist.|
|Oh, I've gotten pretty creative. We had turkey hot dogs today.|
Shopping at Target: Runs into the sample woman. The sample woman says, "Here, have one." She offers something with sausage, cheese, and other stuff on it. I say, "I can't eat that. I wouldn't know how to count all the $#$%^!! calories on it. What's wrong with you? Can't you see that I'm a fat woman on a diet? Can't you offer it to skinny women who obviously need the calories. Jesus Tapdancing Christ, what is the problem with you people?" HIM: "Honey, just let it go and we'll go browse through the vegetables again."
Dieting is definitely affecting me. I was at Home Depot the other day and was minding my own business when I stopped to let a man with a cart full of siding go in front of me. He saw my t-shirt which said: "Home is where the wifi is at", and said, "That's the stupidest t-shirt I've ever seen." Then I said, without pausing, which isn't usually the way I am, but it was an hour before dinner, "No one $&*@#^!! cares what you think." Well, he was rude first, and I suppose I should have been carrying my "Danger: Dieting Fat Woman" sign, but I wasn't. Next time, he might know not to insult a fat woman.
In conclusion, the diet endures.