Okay, I know I have a sinus infection. I tell the nurse that. I tell the doctor that. But here comes the problem. Before I can list my symptoms, the doctor wants to make a commentary on The Walking Dead shirt I'm wearing. In other words, the doctor has just decided to tell me what he thinks of people who like to watch, quoting here, "Those zombie shows." Although I'm sick, running a fever, and my head feels like it's just going to fall off while I'm sitting on the examination table, I'm still polite enough to not say anything. Also it occurs to me that the doctor from the urgent care center thinks that all his patients are morons. Dr. Don'tgiveashizz says, "It's my theory that people who watch zombie shows are able to get into that violence and gore through the show." Let me explain this. Dr. Don't thinks that I'm secretly into violence and gore AND I'm too stupid to realize what he's just implied about me.
I hate doctors. I hate doctors. I hate doctors. I...HATE...DOCTORS. I hate doctors.
Dr. Don't has instantly transformed himself into Dr. Dumbass in my head. He proceeds to make it worse by saying, "You should try eating on smaller plates." My first instinct was act stupid, pour on the redneck accent, and say, "Smaller plates. Gall dang. I ain't never thought of that. You've saved me, Oh Mystical Doctor of Epic Proportion (this part wanders out of the poor yokel response, but the hell with it), you and this wondrous Urgent Care Center. Kin I get that antibiotic now?"
But I didn't say that. What I said was, "Oh, I don't know, you can fit a whole lot of food on a small plate."
Then Dr. Dumbass looked just like this:
Anyway, sinus infection it is. Dr. Dumbass sent a nurse in to give me a shot in the ass, just because I said that about small plates. (Well, that's what I think.)
|I love Gary Cole. Do you think people come up to him|
in the street and do Office Space impersonations?
Probably. I'm sure he's sick of it.
Bwahaha. Off to see how many pain pills I can morally take today. Maybe they have small plates for small pills, or was that too much?