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Monday, December 2, 2013

It Must be in the Water OR BAD Things Continued to Happen!

Not sure exactly what happened last week.

I destroyed a microwave by decimating two bags of popcorn in it.  (For those of you who suggested baking soda and vinegar or was it baking powder and vinegar?, it did not work.  Really.  It didn't work.  The microwave now smells like vinegar flavored burnt popcorn.)  We finally gave up and bought a new microwave.  Normally I wouldn't have done that but burnt popcorn smells really, really, really, really awful.

Okay that was bad enough, but the badness fairy had landed on our house and was not through with waving her silly ass wand about.

Then I got an abscess.  In a bad spot.  I actually had to go to an urgent care center where the nurse practitioner looked at it and said, "Yep.  That's an abscess."  They gave me pain pills, antibiotics, and a big shot in the ass.  I haven't gotten a shot in the ass for years.  That was pretty much the highlight of that day.  I took one of the pain pills and that was pretty much the end of the weekend as I remember it.
I think I would have rather stepped on a Lego than
get an abscess where I got an abscess.
While I was reclined in a chair in the den, enjoying all the pretty colors, I happened to notice that water was falling from the ceiling.  It occurred to me that this was part of the pharmaceutical experience but no, there was water dribbling from the ceiling.  The pump on the Jacuzzi tub upstairs had decided to give up the ghost.

Later I pried up marble and HIM, the man to whom I married, actually cracked one piece, to get to the pump because the original builders of the house HAD NOT installed an access panel.  (I hate them.  I would find them and stick the pump up you-know-where if I thought I wouldn't be arrested.  Oh those pesky state laws that hold you back.)
I obviously need to move my kitchen sink into the den.
But wait, the weekend of fun, abscesses, failing pumps, and joyful happiness was not over!  The next day the garage door opener said, "If the pump's going buh-bye, I am too."  And voila, the garage door opener gave up.  Fortunately it did not burn up, leak, or explode in a painful location.
I originally drew this for ANOTHER leak from our upstairs to
our downstairs in this house, but hey, it still
But wait, I have another LOL about pain and Lego's, which doesn't really have anything to do with where I'm going, but let me tell you, that abscess was painful.  I couldn't sit down for a week.  Or I could sit down but only on one cheek.  (Who knew abscess had 3 s's in it?  Not me.  But my spell check did.)
Anyone who has kids and Lego's knows what I'm talking about.
Or abscesses.
In unrelated topics, I am officially sick of turkey.

List of turkey dishes I have made so far.  Potato-turkey cakes.  Creamed turkey over biscuits.  Open faced turkey sandwiches with gravy.  Turkey salad over biscuits.  Turkey spaghetti.  Turkey tetrazzini.  Turkey-sausage gumbo.  I'm freezing the rest of the turkey.
I'm not sure if this is real or photoshopped but if you happen to love
turkeys and have an old VW Beetle, hey, why not?
Okay.  Enough complaining.  Hope your week was better than mine.


R. Mac Wheeler said...

So...what have you been doing to ruin your karma so badly?


Sara S. said...

I always buy a large turkey, because I like leftovers. However, my guest list this year included my son and three of his buddies (ages 26 - 31), plus two assorted girlfriends. The girls and I had to stab young men in the hands in order to get even a small taste of turkey. Next year I'm doing "theirs" and "ours" birds!

My sympathies for your karma, hope it all gets better soon (but being the pessimist I am, I ain't holdin' my breath, lol).

Carwoo said...

Oh things have gotten better. Our house is still standing. I used to have to do yours and ours birds when we did friend dinners. I'd get a small bird for us and a big bird for them. And I still have some turkey frozen from this time. Soup maybe.