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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Alligator Girl Attacks Again!

Obviously I can stretch a story by going on and on and on.  Also, I excel at stealing material from my daughter.  My sister says that one day Cressy's going to tell me I can't blog about her anymore.  (Then I'll start blogging about my sister more.  And wait, I haven't taunted her cat, Mellow, for a couple of blogs.  I have been remiss.)

My sister's cat, Mellow, dressed as Alligator Girl
For those of you who do not know this story, see The Attack of Alligator Girl and the Zombie Kids.  Then read The Return of Alligator Girl!!!!  When you're done laughing, come back to here.
See.  Alligator Girl.  Once upon a time she was a normal kid hanging out, chewing gum, and skipping down the sidewalk.  Wait, I've had an editorial correction.  She was a normal kid riding her Razor and telling punny jokes.  (Actual joke told by my daughter and I was obligated to laugh: What did the computer have for a snack?  Computer chips.  Get it?  No groaning allowed.)

Back to the story.

Something happened to the girl.  (Our story line is a little vague.  There's no radioactive alligator who nipped her or alien invasion of alligator-like creatures who gave the girl a little kiss on the cheek.  But hey, we were watching Gator Boys on Animal Planet recently, so this could have fueled her little brain's creative processes.  I think she had a recollection of her brief stint as a director/producer/writer/associate director/best girl in the entertainment field and wanted another taste of the fleeting infamy.)  ("What's fleeting infamy, Mommy?")

Anyway, something happened to the girl.  She became...Alligator Girl.  She ate stuff.  Like fast food restaurants and the world.  But the world grew back.  (This would have been a really short story if Alligator Girl had eaten the world and it hadn't grown back.  I suggested Alligator Girl in Space, but Cressy made a face at me.)
I was directed to use the Alligator Girl picture with lots of blood.
"More blood, Mommy!  You're not doing it right!"
She's got the whole prima donna thing down right.
Back to the story, before I get diverted again.

Alligator Girl ate the world in the last segment of our exciting tale.  But the world magically reappeared.  ("It's MY story, Mommy.  If the world comes back magically, then that's the way it is."  I think she might be repeating something I previously said.  Dammit.)  So Alligator Girl was wandering over the world looking for new and unusual things to eat.

Alligator Girl found...Washington D.C.

But something gave her gas.  She went to Walmart.

And it suddenly became night.  (Pesky editorial changes.)
("It looks better at night, Mommy!")
Just for fun, Alligator Girl chased people around.  (They screamed and made fetching noises, but she was already full from eating Washington D.C.)

Then all the people decided that Alligator Girl was good and she could just eat politicians all the time.  Everyone was very happy.
The End.

Disclaimer:  The illustrator might have contributed to this story more than a little.
But it's okay because the Director/Editor/Writer/Creator, Cressy, said the
drawings were, and I quote, "Awesome."
You know, my kid is really down with the HEA ending.  I like that.
(But what happens when we run out of politicians?)


R. Mac Wheeler said...

It's official. Both of us need to get out more.

R. Mac Wheeler said...

ignore, Caren

just trying to see if I fixed my profile picture.

Andsetinn said...

That first picture made my day. :)

raina.nijinsky said...

Hi, my name is raina and I just finished reading your book Veiled Eyes. I loved it! Just letting you know that neither distance, nor the number of years passing matters. Warm regards, raina

Carwoo said...

Hi Raina! Thanks for the loving of the Eyes!