Wait. Here's the more realistic shot:
Whoops. Random subject change. I suppose I should warn people but hey then the blog would be predictable and that would be boring.
Pain in the Ass Man made a brief reappearance this week. (Pain in the Ass Man is also known as HIM the man to whom I'm married. I'm not supposed to mention his actual name in the blog in case Chinese communist spies are reading it or so he won't be overly embarrassed. One or the other.)
|I forgot the cape on this one. Plus he's got hair, which well,|
he doesn't. He is bald Pain In the Ass Man.
(But it's cool. Bald is good. He's like a rocket scientist
Kojak without the lollipop. "Who loves ya, baby?")
|Here's a better image of PITAM. (Pain In The Ass Man.)|
"I don't use that bathroom."
But HIM does use that bathroom. In fact, I had seen HIM using that bathroom the night before I had to scrub the toilet with extra-strength stink-be-gone. (Twice. The toilet cleaner smells like Pepto-Bismol. I swear to God, the toilet cleaner smells like Pepto-Bismol. I could do a whole shtick on what the business developers were thinking when they decided that people want toilets that smell like Pepto-Bismol. I mean, it didn't say on the friggin' label that it smells like Pepto-Bismol. I wouldn't have bought it if it had said that. But I digress. I done digressed. I done be digressing all over the place.) (At least I don't have to clean up after digressing.)
Back to the above statement. "I don't use that bathroom." This is not true. HIM does use that bathroom. Maybe not as much as the other bathrooms, but hey, HIM is an equal opportunity pooper. What happened above was that HIM automatically threw his own daughter under the bus. "I don't use that bathroom." means that only our daughter uses that bathroom. If she is the only one to use that bathroom, ergo, she stunk it up. Ergo, it's her fault.
|There's something about a talking toilet that just|
appeals to me. You could program it to say
things like, "Hey, were you born in a barn?
Shut the lid?" and "That's gonna need
a double flush."
Enough of that rant. What else is there?
I know! I know! I'm on Diet No. 1 of 2013. Oh, that crazy first diet of the year. You mean so well. You have such good intentions. Then you go by Buffalo Wild Wings and remember they have Garlic Parmesan Boneless Buffalo Wings on sale and it goes to hell in a hand basket.
Haha. I haven't gone by Buffalo Wild Wings yet. I'm on Day 2 of Diet No. 1. You see I have to see the doctor at the end of the month and if I go in and I haven't lost weight I will have to explain to him why I haven't lost weight. I will have to say things like, "Um, err, four fat people rushed up to me and force fed me Cheetos and Chunky Monkey ice cream." or "Aliens did it. Instead of probing me they fed me biscuits and gravy. Lots of gravy and it was good gravy. I had an IV of gravy. In fact, I just had an IV of pure lard." (This is a lot like "I don't use that bathroom," except with weight.) Do you think I want to say these things to a medical doctor? No, I do not. Also I want to live past 50. And my last year of fortysomething is coming up.
Diets suck. They (HIM and Cressy) wanted pizza tonight. I had three pieces. (Which isn't on the diet. Or at least it isn't on any diet that I know of.) Plus the kid wanted donut holes. At least the moron cat doesn't eat stuff that tempts me. And the squirrel is outside laughing at me.