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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

New Fat Issues


Today as I was driving my daughter to preschool we saw a micro car. I don't know what the name of the car is, only that it's like so small, a skinny person would have trouble sitting in it. Fat people BEWARE! This is not a fat friendly car. Can you believe it has two front seats? Yikes. Two skinny people stuffed in a car together. God forbid they go through a drive-through. If they ate a Big Mac, the car would explode. If one farted, then the other one would be blasted into outer space to commune personally with the remains of Sputnik.
I mean what were the inventors thinking? You cannot fit a normal sized person in this car. Anyone over the height of five foot three has to fold themselves up to get in. I think my daughter at forty inches is about the right size. (BTW, when she saw the car, that's what she thought, that the car was made for her. And she's only four so she's already nagging me about her driver's license.) However, the car gets insanely good gas mileage, so folding yourself up into a cramp filled nightmare must be just a little con. "I can't feel my left arm and my left thigh, but I GET 50 MPH. Whoo-hoo!" Anything to be green, right? Hey, walk. Take a bus. Take a train. Take a bike. That'll work and you have room AND you don't have to pay through the nose for the privilege.
Speaking of transportation. Go Canadians on the recent decision in their high court about fat people getting a free seat. (Like airplane seats are so roomy anyway.) It's not like there's a lot of elbow room on those suckers anyway. The airline companies are trying to get every little inch out of their airplane space. They'd put seats on the nose of the airplane if they thought they could get away with it. I'm surprised they don't sell the space behind the pilot. (I suspect that the pilot's union put a kibosh on that one.) In any case, I say let's visit Canada and give them some of our fat people tourist dollars. All right.

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