I destroyed a microwave by decimating two bags of popcorn in it. (For those of you who suggested baking soda and vinegar or was it baking powder and vinegar?, it did not work. Really. It didn't work. The microwave now smells like vinegar flavored burnt popcorn.) We finally gave up and bought a new microwave. Normally I wouldn't have done that but burnt popcorn smells really, really, really, really awful.
Okay that was bad enough, but the badness fairy had landed on our house and was not through with waving her silly ass wand about.
Then I got an abscess. In a bad spot. I actually had to go to an urgent care center where the nurse practitioner looked at it and said, "Yep. That's an abscess." They gave me pain pills, antibiotics, and a big shot in the ass. I haven't gotten a shot in the ass for years. That was pretty much the highlight of that day. I took one of the pain pills and that was pretty much the end of the weekend as I remember it.
I think I would have rather stepped on a Lego than get an abscess where I got an abscess. |
Later I pried up marble and HIM, the man to whom I married, actually cracked one piece, to get to the pump because the original builders of the house HAD NOT installed an access panel. (I hate them. I would find them and stick the pump up you-know-where if I thought I wouldn't be arrested. Oh those pesky state laws that hold you back.)
I obviously need to move my kitchen sink into the den. |
I originally drew this for ANOTHER leak from our upstairs to our downstairs in this house, but hey, it still works. |
Anyone who has kids and Lego's knows what I'm talking about. Or abscesses. |
List of turkey dishes I have made so far. Potato-turkey cakes. Creamed turkey over biscuits. Open faced turkey sandwiches with gravy. Turkey salad over biscuits. Turkey spaghetti. Turkey tetrazzini. Turkey-sausage gumbo. I'm freezing the rest of the turkey.
I'm not sure if this is real or photoshopped but if you happen to love turkeys and have an old VW Beetle, hey, why not? |
3 comments:
So...what have you been doing to ruin your karma so badly?
Argh!
I always buy a large turkey, because I like leftovers. However, my guest list this year included my son and three of his buddies (ages 26 - 31), plus two assorted girlfriends. The girls and I had to stab young men in the hands in order to get even a small taste of turkey. Next year I'm doing "theirs" and "ours" birds!
My sympathies for your karma, hope it all gets better soon (but being the pessimist I am, I ain't holdin' my breath, lol).
Oh things have gotten better. Our house is still standing. I used to have to do yours and ours birds when we did friend dinners. I'd get a small bird for us and a big bird for them. And I still have some turkey frozen from this time. Soup maybe.
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