|Obviously this person has an afghan dog. Hey, I've never seen this|
person at Target.
And I wandered down the chips aisle. I know I'm not supposed to go down the chips aisle. Not legally, of course, but in the event that I have a chip craving of ginormous proportion, I'm not supposed to be there. I don't know who invented potato chips but fat people everywhere are cursing them.
Instead of chips I found:
But then I saw:
But I wasn't done with the chips aisle. I found this, actual chips. Well, allegedly actual chips. I haven't opened them to see. Yes, prodded by my only child I was forced to buy it. She thought there were real voodoo dolls inside:
But I wasn't quite done with the chips aisle, for there was one more thing to catch my attention, which says a lot about me.
So once I was done with the chips aisle, off we went to...dah-dah-dahhhhh...the toy aisle.
It's just not done to escape Target without visiting the toy aisle. But don't fret because those tricky people at the toy companies are always coming up with toys that I can make fun of. Really.
First there was weird tadpole/mermaid Lalaloopsy doll. Why play with a mermaid when you can play with a freaky little tadpole creature?
Of course, Target has been paying attention to the recent fascination with zombies as evidenced by this:
But there were more dolls. What the hella heck is up with half creature/half human dolls? There was the little weird dog faced humans, who HAVE pet dogs, too.
But My Little Pony couldn't be left out and they had half horsey/half human things too.
And I can't leave out Barbie, can I? This model has a light up stomach dress. Seriously, my daughter giggled. You press some button and her dress goes all Broadway Billboard. I forgot to look at the price of it because I was busy snorting.
Then they had Catwoman. Catwoman prompted a fight about who had been the original Catwoman. I was going for Eartha Kitt and HIM was saying that Batman was out in the 80s. Strangers in the aisles were staring at us. (I think they wanted to throw in Halle Berry and Anne Hathaway but I stared them down.) HIM had to look up Lee Meriwether and Julie Newmar. The best one was Eartha Kitt. (By the way, first Catwoman is Julie Newmar for those who can't help themselves.)
There was a freaky little doll with yarn hair that I envisioned the moron cat eating and having to visit a surgeon for removal.
It even admits that it has loopy hair.
After going through all of the toy madness we went through the Halloween section and Cressy spent her allowance. Seriously.
Yes, it's a foam geisha wig. Cressy's going to wear it with her pink ninja outfit. I'm not sure how that's going to work out but who am I to judge? I was just glad that she hadn't seen the next thing.
Glow in the dark dog poop. If you're going to have a dog go poo and you're out in the darkness, what better way to have glow in the dark dog poop?
But hey, at least I didn't have to put the hot dog costume on the moron cat, who refused to walk in it. In fact, he was pretty pissed off about the whole thing.
Okay, that's enough until the next shopping trip. Same bat time. Same bat channel.