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Monday, January 28, 2008

Definition of Fat

So much for diet no. 3. It folded like a hooker getting punched by a john. But it brought me to a question. What exactly is the definition of fat? Well, if you want to get scientific about it, it might be your BMI, body mass index, an index created by skinny people to feel superior over fat people. "See, Bill, your BMI is 3006 1/2. You're definitely fat. Ha. Ha." Once my husband said to me, and amazingly he's still among the living, "You're not fat. You're just overweight." One might think that after a decade or so I'd let him off the hook, but I'm taking that one to the grave, buddy-boy. God knows we have enough ways of saying someone is fat because it's all subjective. Fat is fat because someone else thinks someone is fat. Case in point: Supermodels. If you meet one in person you have to ask yourself if they eat more than a teaspoon of food every day. On the other hand, there are people who have trespassed into the four digit weight zone and need assistance to get out of their houses. Fortunately for me I've only got three digits going on and am no where close to even the middle end of that scenario. There are the two extremes. Most fat people probably fall into this circumstances.

How do you define fat? Unhealthy. And it all depends on the person. If a person has to take blood pressure medication, cholesterol medication, and diabetic medication and they wouldn't if they lost some weight and exercised regularly, then they probably are fat. That would be me. There are other people who probably have a BMI that's considered fat, who don't take any medication, who are considered healthy by a licensed doctor, and I would say that they're not fat. Not really. If you're healthy you're okay.

And by the way, I'm voting for the fattest person running for president regardless of politics. Hah.

Go, fat woman.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Diet No. 3


Well so much for Diet No. 2. I didn't blog, yet I ate anyway. It was probably doomed to failure. I blog therefore I eat. Everyone in the house got sick. I said the heck with that. Comfort food here I come. And the comfort food was, in fact, eaten. I hate diets. i wish I was one of those people who could eat what they wanted to and stay the same weight. Of course, they don't eat a mountain full of food every day either. (Not that I eat a mountain full, either. I don't. But I certainly aren't starving myself either.) I'm curious about how many diets a reasonable person can go through in a year. Reasonable. Yes, I'm reasonable. Realistic. Maybe not.

Diets suck. Here I go again.

P.S. Here's my daughter. She's on the pirate diet. She gets to eat anything she wants as long as she says, "Arrrr."

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Diet No. 2

Here it is. January 22 and I'm on my second diet of the year. Diet no. 1 didn't even make it past the 'I'm going on a diet tomorrow' phase. Tomorrow arrived and the diet mysteriously vanished. Today's diet is 'I have to blog before I eat diet.' Should make for an interesting few days. If I don't kill someone. I just asked my 3 year old daughter if she was hungry. 'No.' It's a standard answer. Apparently she doesn't like to eat much. I hate her. she's going to be a skinny woman until she's fifty and then she's going to bitch about gaining 3 pounds. Fortunately for me I won't be around to see that, unless I'm remarkably well lived or remarkably lucky. Maybe I'll have Alzheimer's and it won't matter.